Over and Over
by Surroundedbutalone
Summary: Their souls destined to repeat over and over throughout the course of time - a different look at the death note events. AU, character death, LxLight if you squint.


**I don't own anything. At all. I am basically homeless.**

**Over and Over**

_Over and over, over and over_  
_I fall for you_  
_Over and over, over and over_  
_I try not to_  
_Over and over, over and over_  
_You make me fall for you_  
_Over and over, over and over_  
_You don't even try to_

_- Three days grace_

Lucifer turned to his brother. He was so beautiful, so strong and proud and certain that sometimes he made even Michael doubt. But he couldn't doubt. They had jobs and rules to follow and his brother was just too fucking beautiful.

"Michael, the humans are destroying our father's perfect world; they must be destroyed. Join me. Help me."

Michael didn't hear that. He heard the same thing he always heard.

_Michael, fall with me._

Michael drew his flaming sword. Lucifer smiled like he expected it and his golden eyes burned.

_Michael, save me._

The bells begin to ring.

* * *

The first time they meet the boy stumbles into the cave tired and starving, merely skin clinging to pale bone. There are others in the cave, he hears their murmuring and can see their vague shapes, furs moving as if he had stumbled into the home of small bears that stood only on two legs. He sees a flash of gold and focuses on the wide eyes of a toddler, sees recognition shine out in reflection of what must be in his own gaze.

_I know you_, he thinks, and then falls unconscious.

When he wakes the medicine woman is watching over him, wrapping his feet in soothing poultices with the golden eyed child staring from her hip.

She cannot pronounce his name but he didn't expect her to and accepts her rolling 'L' as adequate. The toddler is named 'Raito', but L already knew that. The boy shone like the light.

_I know you._

Raito's father is the clan chief and accepts L into their lives graciously. Raito was the only boy child that had been born in years and then men were happy that another hunter had joined their ranks. Raito watched him mark out the lines of his hearth, watched him talk to clan members, watched him eat, and in turn L followed Raito wherever the boy went. The men muttered that L acted more a woman than a man, but the chief would have none of it. L was their blessing.

L was chosen as an acolyte for the position of holy man and people were glad, for he wasn't a promising hunter.

Raito watched L mix herbs and grabbed his wrist to stop him adding dried hops.

"Wrong," said Raito, and pointed to another pouch that was almost identical. L knew he would do that. Raito would make a great holy man, if only he wasn't meant to be leader.

L and Raito sometimes lay in the grass, ignoring their duties for a while to watch the clouds.

"A perfect world would be one where man controlled the spirits," Raito began, not for the first time. "No disease or hunger or being controlled by the will of the gods. Only power."

He gripped L's hand as he said this, and L felt his heart break a little. He was going to miss those golden eyes.

"Raito is dabbling in the world of the spirits," L declared to the clan, hearing them gasp. The older generation looked horrified, but many of the others, those Raito's age and younger, merely watched him with cool eyes.

_They know. They know and they worship him already. _

The chief doesn't believe it and Raito watches him, always watching, even as L chokes on the food he know Raito poisoned. He watches his smile, hears the bells, and let's go.

He will find him again.

* * *

The boy is given to him, too proud for a slave, and the man cackles.

"For your good work!"

Golden eyes that hate L glare at him from a much too pretty face.

_I know you._

He brings L his meals and treats his wounds and in the evening they talk of the world and philosophy and why.

"A man should control his own destiny," says Light but Light is a slave and that is how the law works. L watches him sleep, thinks of freedom and right and wrong and wonders if he gets to keep him this time.

Light's eyes are wild as he holds the knife, bloodied with the life of the man who had sold him. L ties him up and gives him to the executioner, sees the betrayal and knows from the looks given by the other slaves that he won't live to see the boy hang.

* * *

The monastery takes in the small boy, covered from the soot of his burnt village, and L is charged with bathing him. No one listens to L until the well is poisoned.

* * *

Kira is a scrawny thing, not even marriageable age yet, but her eyes glow with a flame. She denounces the name of god over and over and but she doesn't trust L, not once. They burn her as a witch even as L licks her taste from his lips and feels the poison kick in.

* * *

He draws the plan and rides into battle, hears the gasp from beneath the mud at his feet. He sees the opposing side's uniform and the amber eyes and the wound that the solider couldn't possibly live through. He feels like he missed something important, probably the most important thing ever, and doesn't register the explosion that kills him, because _he _did this, he put out that beautiful light, and that is worth dying for.

* * *

The boy is too beautiful and he should have realised, curses himself even as he swings the sword. "You are charged with impersonating a man."

* * *

His mother hands him the small bundle and he looks down at his baby brother, the same brother who will convince him to rob a bank and get them both shot while trying to get enough money to cover their dying mother's rent.

* * *

He takes the hand of his arranged husband and knows the man will kill them both before the night is out in rebellion.

* * *

He glances at the boy in the school uniform a moment before the boy is killed in a hit and run and feels intense anguish, doesn't move even as the car aims for him.

_Not enough time, _he yells into the darkness. _If I had longer I could have saved him._

* * *

L sips the tea brought to him by Watari and looks through the pictures of the Japanese police force and their families. He sees honey hair and golden eyes and feels a thrill of anticipation go through, something that feels so exciting and familiar at the same time. He stares into those eyes –_I know you- _and is surprised at the thought that pops into his head.

_Maybe this time…_

_So many thoughts that I can't get out of my head  
I try to live without you, every time I do I feel dead  
I know what's best for me  
But I want you instead  
I'll keep on wasting all my time_

Over and over, over and over  
I fall for you  
Over and over, over and over  
I try not to  
Over and over, over and over  
You make me fall for you  
Over and over, over and over  
You don't even try to...


End file.
